so once again its on its coffeess1stluv coming at you live and direct to give you a slice of the cake of life ... today i have to tell you a crazy story that was shared with me ... you know the saying what would you do for a Klondike bar : well dam that : the question now is what would you do for the love of some churches chicken. now you know that the name s are always changed to protect the guilty and today is no exception. Picture it a balmy day in the great state of Dixie(MS) and two sisters LOUIS V and raspy red are on the hunt : twilight style. hunting for that good ole southern treat ( chicken) all thats right in the south is deep fried and today we are going to pic up our story in Columbus ,MS .. so Louis v and raspy red are riding down our great 2 lane highway : disclosure for those of you trotting along on a 4 lane well .. i have nothing just sounded like i could put something there. i digress .. so riding along singing a song when POP .. never a sound you want to hear while on any road , so naturally a stop is made : now at this point they are still a good 10 mins outside of the actual town so about 5 miles to the nearest gas station or even a car place to help : Louis v knowing that she had a prev problem with a blowout prev was a wise owl and stated that she may have a blowout: checked the tire and what do ya know the thing was intact : now if that just don't take you to Mr Rodgers neighborhood, now raspy red is no fool she was like lets just go on and in turn around its not that serious for some chicken : or is it : do the sisters continue what happens to the tire and why is churches chicken so dam big .... hahahaha i just had to do that it felt like the climax to a TV show, so they get into town Louis v pulls into a tire shop wanting to get her tire checked out and replaced , so the man tells her he has no spares nor any new to fit her car and suggest a place down the road , OK so on the tire that could be blown out we are going to travel down the road , were at the second tire place its beginning to feel like maybe something was coming in because once again there was no room at the inn , a 3 locations is suggested : so once again over the hill and under the bridge we go , PAY-DIRT: the tire is checked and while Louis v is inside discussing the payment and the tire : POW : tire has now pooped and naturally this causes raspy red to exit the car : makes sense right : OK so here in lies the problem : Louis v was inside at the time leaving raspy red in the car with the keys and the purse, now since the car has become unoccupied the car working like a episode of knight rider gone wrong has locked itself : while running and the spare keys are inside. man they just wanted some chicken : WHHHY LORD WHHHHHHY: now another adventure : it take s 20 mins for the car to get unlocked : good times : tires gets fixed even better and now on a mission for the chicken. finally we arrive at our destination, churches chicken : and of you cannot taste that honey biscuit and a 16 piece for $5 then your living in a KFC shell and i am sorry for you : now we get our chicken and once again another adventure: the chicken is $13 : fine not a prob except that Louis v only has a $10 bill on her left her debit card with the last tire place and for churches much like a real church they don't take no cc card : no mam the lord as the chicken joints like cash .. man if you ever ever ever find yourself in need of some chicken please please please : grab your Crisco , your flour and your honey and make the dam chicken at home .. don't fall victim to the allure to the chicken .. what do you do go the love of churches chicken , well we know one tale , me ill just sit back with 2 creamers 3 sugars and ill holla

well well well can the blog say blogman ! I said can the blog say blogman ! church : YES : well once again its coffeess1stluv coming live and direct from the great state of MS on the prowl for all that intrigues and delights your senses. I have found my new them song for the month : Travis mckoy : i wanna be a billionaire. man you gotta love the man ingenuity he doesn't want to be a mere millionaire thats for the Lil birds in the sky , no you gotta wanna be a billionaire so f*&^% bad. and right now i have to digress into my mad rat : so check this ish : mike check one two one two : times are hard right now and a chap is hanging on like Noah in the arc, man keeping your head above water is some tough stuff. tough choses are gonna have to be made but sometimes the choices are made easier when they are made for you . Today was a day of mourning. why ? what happened you ask.. well my cell died or better yet was murdered by the heartless unfeeling flat faced terds at ATT. the phone was a victim of my own personal recession. hell im broke! i have a home phone , Internet and cable what in the French toast did i need a cell for ... RIGHT .. but that was me trying to keep up with the Jones', but guess what just found out that the dam Joneses house went into foreclosure trying to keep up with the smiths. Ain't that some cat pee in your eye. its not that the phone was turned off that leads to my rant, no it was the principal of the ting. I work in a call center and have worked sales , service and cancellations. now the customer service was great but the dam cancellation team , was horrible. i got on the phone tonight with capt cancellation and ill be dammed if he didn't delight in telling me of an early termination fee and that to reinstate my phone service was going to be a ridiculous amount of $546.. RIGHT .. i don't know who in the hell ATT think they are fooling but not your girl , i would sooner cancel all my ish and get me a cup and some string and make a cal old school style. these are the times that i wanna be a billionaire so f*&^% bad ! until then im a take my broke no cell phone having self on to the kitchen and pour my nite cup of coffee : you know how i do 2 creamers 3 sugars and ill holla

i have to start by saying that i am sorry that this has taken so long to post , so goes life things were happening around me and i let this fall by the wayside.but alas i am back and here to catch you up. so the last time we wrote i was telling you about the hood adventures that are so commonplace for me now. well lets go back , as you know the names are changed to protect the guilty. this is no different. the same nite awaiting , and coffeess1stluv were outside just chilling in the heat , all the madness came through. i told you before that sped came through and called us stupid ( now this is ironic being that she cannot spell her own middle name) RIGHT .... and then came back and yelled that we were stupid dyke's, now to that i take offense .. stupid , no mam , i cna spell .hahahahahha . and it gets better i don't know what it is about the heat and the fools but they come to you like roaches , always wanna come around in the dark and play . so the tracksuit pimp comes to us and of course he runs his game. hes a special brand of pimp , hes not a traditional pimp in that hes not pimping women , hes that old functioning drunk that just talks a lot of ish that makes no sense. and that nite was no exception. he proceeds to tel me that if i get my game up i can have him and he had money all the while he mumbling things to himself , then it happens another classic hood line . so he bumps into awaiting and then says well dam i almost nuted on myself ; pause : almost dam girl you better watch yourself .. i ask oyu how do you make this ish up , you don't you go in the house and do what you know needs to be done make some coffee put in 2 sugars and 3 creamers and tell them ill holla

man i man was last nite a hot cube ( a good day) it started like any great Friday should 1. got off early from work 2. relaxed with the friends and 3. enjoyed the randomness of life as I now know it..... As you know I have to change the name to protect the guilty... so lets begin , our tale takes place in the land far far away of Starkvegas, MS. The heat was high the grills were cool and the hood was restless. Like roaches knowing the exterminator is coming they were out in full effect. Now initially the night was like that of any other awaiting and I were hanging out with the rest the Monty crew, CNN, mumbles86, pdiddy, and some new faces. Well as I have previously stated there is nothing more entertaining in this world then folks who have no where to be in the morning. Friday was no exception. No story would be complete without its main character, today in the role of tortured grown thug , we focus on mumbles86. remember that mumbles 86 and I coffeess1stluv were once an item , but on this nite man mumbles86 was more in demand than a big blue marker in the bingo hall. enter stage left the ex - the ghetto chick who tatted his name on her neck. Now I now good and dam well this is not what trey songz meant by the neighbors knowing your name. Mumbles well I have to give it to him for an aging, dresses like its forever the 80's gym class and poor. this man has that swig. no its not a typo I said swig , it s the poor mans swag , so much so he had the ex well call her lil tat waiting in her car cutting side glances at him as he ignored her buying him a $1.49 slushie. REALLY. Granted his may not be a big deal in your world but folks this is a recession and he sent her to the store in the heat to buy a slushie after he has proceeded to ignore her for a full 15mins, the reason I know is because I sat there with the fascination of watching a lady gaga video, sometimes the concept is off but the end result: priceless. Then as if the GODS of drama were starting down on me , enter in center stage sugamamab: (history: sugamamab is mumbles86 ``wife`` ) and by wife I mean his financial security blanket, she the cougar or more like the old lioness with no more teeth. Well she comes rolling up in the hood looking for old mumbles like your mom would when your got an D on the report card. Meanwhile awaiting and I were chilling in the heat, enjoying some tunes, when sugamamab rolled up called her lil cub mumbles to her and proceeded to impose that curfew on him. classic. It was like something out of a soap opera , our eyes met, the baited breath she took while looking into my eyes was imposing, granted the moment was lost on me cuz at this moment a new character was entering the scene. Sped. the name says it all , sped(special-ed) is this chap that is just plain slow , im talking certificate out of high school, cant spell my own middle name slow. RIGHT. sped doesn't like awaiting or coffeess1stluv she thinks were shady like trees. So when she walks past and proceeds to sue her readers digest word of the day , we have to take note of this. you know how you wanna be seen and heard, she was and did , she called us : ................ I cant do it its too much for your eyes..... OK OK .. she called us stupid bitches and Dyke hos.... I know I know who knew that sped could grasp the concept of such complex things .. certainly not me... but that was just the first part of the night , like a good wine , ima let you marinate on that for a minute , when your done come and get me im in the kitchen drinking coffee with 2 creamers 3 sugars and ill holla ...

man o man once again its on. as you know its coffeess1stluv coming live and in living color. as the post suggests there is once again another tale of whoa. much like a good Shakespeare tale there is love lost , longing and the fights. the fights are what legends are made of. Sat. July 3,2010 is a day that will live in infamy ,thats the day CNN and Lil orphan k celebrated the birth of their chap. well sort of. picture the hood on a hot summer day in July. Not certain of it was the heat makes for good times or the fact that hood people just cant help themselves. but here we go. so CNN and Lil orphan k are now like any young couple who had a chap to soon they no longer want each other but don't want to see the other doing good. a tale we all know to well. now the party started off great all the elements of a good time , good weather , food to eat , Lil people ( chaps) running around enjoying life , so why o why the drama at a one year olds party you ask. well simple, Lil orphan k has been making moves since we last spoke still no so well dressed homeless he has at least now acquired himself a steady gig , and so brought his son a Lil kiddie pool . no problem nice gesture, right . well......... so the pool was all set up and kids were getting in and enjoying that was the wind down of the party.CNN sensed with her baby mama senses that all was not rite in the land of drama and never one to be outdone she notices that lil orphan k decides that he wanted to take the kids pool over to his new girls house so that her children can also enjoy. now get your mouths off the ground i realize this is a cardinal sin. but lil orphan k well he does t see it this way so a verbal assault ensues , and then it happen d, it was like when you watch a person getting spit on , it just seems to happen in slow motion and its sooo wrong. I cant say where or how but CNN manged to grab herself a knife and was yelling at the orphan to tell him that there was no way she was going to have him taking the pool across the street for that *&^%5 kids . then she did it , she pulled out said knife your honor and cut the pool , not just a slash no that was to easy she cut the pool all the way around. then like a Greek GOD of crazy has possessed him lil orphan k rose from the deep like the mighty cracklin and hit CNN dead in the eye. it was like an episode of old school batman : by that i mean POW and dam if a BOOM didn't follow. and I tell you just when you thought the hood was the place to go , go back in pour a cup of coffee and make me one with 2 sugars 3 creamers and ill holla

Honey nut cheerios craigslist is soooo nasty. Who knew. And if you knew how come no disclosures were never given. So i went on craiglists last night because im single and a friend told me all caps FORGET MATCH.COM ... nay to them i say .. nay .. well it didn't happen like that but it was cool wasn't it ... you liked it .... im on craiglists which is basically your local newspaper all together and decide to peruse the personals section. And then it happened : looking for a companion and friend if you will , thats what the ad said and then beside it had (pic) , now who can turn down that a friend you say and a pic to match well thats just the cats meow. Opened it up like a fat kid with a little Debbie cake was i excited.. O MY LAMB ( im trying to stop cussing ) work with me here.. there i saw a pic of a body part. a body part, i know in your mind you said it all dry like :REALLY : NO REALLY . yes a body part one of the parts of the body thats normally covered by fruit of the loom . RIGHT. But like a person driving past an accident scene i couldn't help but slow down and look Craiglist is nasty. So when i log into the site next time ... well ill have some coffee with my 2 creamers and 3 sugars ready so that ill holla !

I have now come to the most striking conclusion. Honey bunches of oats im a nerd. ... Now I don't mean a nerd in a Steve Urkel pulling my pants up to high sorta way. No i am a non techie , soap opera , star trek the next generation sit in front of my computer and really don't get out much sort of dork. Nerds well nerds have become cool , who doest like to hang with the smart folks. Me , well i cant function a blackberry to save a my ipod form crashing into the abyss that was once my iphone. Hell I don't even get the hype with the iphone already. I have a slider with picture messaging , and text messages and man im in heaven oooh and i have a camera that were the requirements. Man as I write this I realize that I am one step away from a jitterbug. Wow I really am a dork. But its cool because Im create all my own adventures and also have one of the coolest soundtracks to my life. EVER ! PERIOD. I am the lion, tiger and the bear .. NARNIA

DARE TO BE DIFFERENT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!