its been 5 days  2 hrs and 32 mins , and i feel that  the color is just now  beginning to come  back to my face. i can now walk into the store and purchase jolly ranchers, skittles, runts  all without tingling, and as i  sit before you i am not afraid to admit that my name is coffees1stluv  and im ..........A CANDY CRUSH ADDICT ..... dramatic pause .. look over room as  various people hold there  phones tighter than wranglers hold a cowboy . how did this come to be you ask , well im not unlike any of you , i tried to avoid the wave that was  sweeping across my peers like the latest remake of the electric slide ( Que in the the cupid shuffle, big girl back it up , etc) but  just like the gateway drug that it  is the  shiny allure of all that  candy  came to  me  one night . i remember like it was  yesterday , well  actually i remember like it was 5 days ago , thats when i was ... dare i say it .. happy.. my friends had all been asking me .. coffee .. go on and try it  . its harmless .. send me a life .. nay nay  i would say  this is not  right i am but a  mere  being trying to expand my mind i will  sit here in this  coffee shop and  drink overpriced  Folgers and  day old scones and read  a book with  really  really big words in it  .. but this one night , i did it late at night under the cover of darkness i logged in, clicked and played . it started off simple  level 1 clear all your jelly .. hahha that was fun  lets go on level 2 ,3  in a matter of hours i was on level 25 and  feeling a  surge of energy ,a  high that no  chocolate has  been able to give me no .... coffee cup could contain me , then it happened i was  sending out requests for lives to  get off of level 65 and  getting upset with the little things , you know eating , the  phone tinging, work , these things were  cutting into my candy crush. i  hit bottom  5 days ago .. i was at the local coffee shop when i  ordered regular coffee a old scone and sat down to free wifi and candy crush , it was when i  lost all my lives that it happened .. i saw this  kid playing 2 tables over and  requested a  life , you know what that ungrateful little reject sperm did .... nothing something about dont talk to strangers and the like .. blah blah blah ...these dam kids i mean really what in the  french toast is a 16 yr old doing  in a coffee house  playing candy crush just sitting around flaunting there  lives !!!!! im mad  so mad so  its dark form there the last thing i remember is  grabbing the  child  by the collar and stuffing the  scone in there nose , but i dont know  but thats what the police report says . so now stand before you a broken coffee cup  with no lives  only a bag of skittles and  jolly ranchers to  get me through ... candy crush is the new crack  so dont say i didnt warn you i thank you for your time and if you need me  come to the coffee house on main ill be in the corner with 2 creamers 3 sugars and ill holla

ive been watching in session and investigation discovery so much  that i can get a case for them, i wasn't home  a couple days when it happened. Let me set the  stage , dim the lights grab your coffee and your scones because this is  some crazy ish. Picture it, Ryan's a buffet of   happy food ,honey butter and bread and sweet tea, my friends had taken me out for a welcome home dinner  we have eaten , drank , stuck a  few rolls and honey butter  in the purse for later and now were leaving. Then it happens .. i swear as i tell it  i hear the voice of Chris Hanson giving the commentary, it was a sleepy southern town, a  bright sunny day , who would've known that the jeep grand Cherokee killer was  loose.... yep .. intense it was just a walk back to the car this is how it started , a few friends walking back to their respective cars when a  man lets  say no more than  5'6 , brown hair , nice  smile  comes out of nowhere with a question .. Have you guys heard about the serial killer in the area.... now granted i hadn't  been home for  2 mnths  but my friends have been here all along mind you one works in the police department .. so the  look of confusion on all our faces  he proceeds , yea hes been killing little kids in the area ... wow , now that's  huge  OMG  kinda info so naturally were all like    who when where , we've never heard .... then it happens ... he  grins, looks at us  as hes now at his car a  mint green 1989 jeep grand Cherokee  with Montana tags and says  .. ooh i was just playing its a conversation starter ... WHAT THE FRENCH TOAST ............. at this point im so glad that im in such shock that i have walked to the wrong car.. and as quickly as  our killer  appeared he gets in his killer mobile and drives off . i tell you once ill  tell you again you cant make this ish up , and if that wasn't creepy enough that  very night ... we had a  road block going  home .... eeewwwww  i tell you  guys beware of stranger danger stick to your  dunkin doughnuts and coffee  make sure to get 2  creamers 3 sugars and ill holla