Wednesday, July 24, 2013,12:32 AM
candy crush is the new crack
its been 5 days 2 hrs and 32 mins , and i feel that the color is just now beginning to come back to my face. i can now walk into the store and purchase jolly ranchers, skittles, runts all without tingling, and as i sit before you i am not afraid to admit that my name is coffees1stluv and im ..........A CANDY CRUSH ADDICT ..... dramatic pause .. look over room as various people hold there phones tighter than wranglers hold a cowboy . how did this come to be you ask , well im not unlike any of you , i tried to avoid the wave that was sweeping across my peers like the latest remake of the electric slide ( Que in the the cupid shuffle, big girl back it up , etc) but just like the gateway drug that it is the shiny allure of all that candy came to me one night . i remember like it was yesterday , well actually i remember like it was 5 days ago , thats when i was ... dare i say it .. happy.. my friends had all been asking me .. coffee .. go on and try it . its harmless .. send me a life .. nay nay i would say this is not right i am but a mere being trying to expand my mind i will sit here in this coffee shop and drink overpriced Folgers and day old scones and read a book with really really big words in it .. but this one night , i did it late at night under the cover of darkness i logged in, clicked and played . it started off simple level 1 clear all your jelly .. hahha that was fun lets go on level 2 ,3 in a matter of hours i was on level 25 and feeling a surge of energy ,a high that no chocolate has been able to give me no .... coffee cup could contain me , then it happened i was sending out requests for lives to get off of level 65 and getting upset with the little things , you know eating , the phone tinging, work , these things were cutting into my candy crush. i hit bottom 5 days ago .. i was at the local coffee shop when i ordered regular coffee a old scone and sat down to free wifi and candy crush , it was when i lost all my lives that it happened .. i saw this kid playing 2 tables over and requested a life , you know what that ungrateful little reject sperm did .... nothing something about dont talk to strangers and the like .. blah blah blah ...these dam kids i mean really what in the french toast is a 16 yr old doing in a coffee house playing candy crush just sitting around flaunting there lives !!!!! im mad so mad so its dark form there the last thing i remember is grabbing the child by the collar and stuffing the scone in there nose , but i dont know but thats what the police report says . so now stand before you a broken coffee cup with no lives only a bag of skittles and jolly ranchers to get me through ... candy crush is the new crack so dont say i didnt warn you i thank you for your time and if you need me come to the coffee house on main ill be in the corner with 2 creamers 3 sugars and ill holla