• I’m on my  LL don't call it a comeback ,  the coffee is brewing and while i have a minute i want to share a tale with you my 5 ... 2  fans. I'm sitting at home this weekend watching this year’s new breakout drama braking Amish when it had me think back when i first moved down south. I don’t know if was the country setting or the vast amount of cows that i kept seeing in the show but a question came to my mind. What in the French toast is sweet milk? Initially i had to discover this bit of information on my own and i like to take a minute just sit right back and I’ll tell you how i came to know about the sweet milk. Picture it a humid summer day in the dirty magnolia my grandfather says to me   baby go to the store for your granddaddy and get me some sweet milk for my cornbread. A simple request you could hear the Walton music swelling behind us the moment was so pure.  To the store I trek in search of sweet milk, now it never occurred to me that at the time i had no clue what sweet milk or even why you would eat this with cornbread. See coffees1stluv was brewed in California and moved to the dirty magnolia later on, but i digress. I arrive at the store  mission  operation sweet milk  of course my  first instinct is to  go to the sweetened condensed milk , hence the sweet milk , but then I thought  this  may not be right  for 1. Its stupid think and 2. That’s not a good mix with cornbread. Oh well onward and up , i trudge to the back of the store to see  cue in the heavenly  milk angels  all the milk , Im mean   whole milk, 2%,1%, soy , chocolate and even the classic strawberry but alas no sweet milk .So  of course im in the wrong place i  go back to my previous stop the condensed milk , mind you i do this back and forth  process about  6 times , making the workers nervous as i  now look as  if  im plotting case the joint. Finally a kind young man let’s call him Johnny sweet milk stops me and sensing my distress asks a question I’ll never forget ... Mam caaaan I help you, maybe it was the perplexed look on my face that had him worried he could sense the coffee was about to boil over, I turn to him and ask the question that has perplexed me for the last 15 minutes, where is your sweet milk.. He in turn with  a look of  confusion , you know that this is  too obvious  i can’t believe you don’t know sticks out his  milky sweet milk finger and points, there it is again that dam  heavenly music as he  points to ... The dam  whole milk ! Music stops the choir sits down and a cow jumps over the moon. I look staring and take my gallon of whole milk home, where my grandfather proceeds to laugh at my tale of woe. In my mind i placed him in a home for the  sweet milk criminals, to this day  anytime i see him with some whole milk and cornbread i   have to keep myself from knocking it to the ground and screaming  like  mommy dearest NO MORE SWEEEEET MILLLLLLK .......... 

The coffee is  hot   twitches so pour a cup and  riddle me this . How is it that  social media has come to  break up so many step-ford homes, you know the ones that seem happy until X posts a status  unrelated to Y and then G jumps in and feel some type of way  . Well this has just happened to my friend nurses aide, so  nurses aide is a  bright  girl head on her shoulders looking for love as many of us are, had  met a seemingly nice  young man we can call Baby Boy Jody. Nurses Aide calls me today to ask a simple question .. if i post a status that densest mention you and you become offended is that my problem or yours? So e being coffees1stluv i drooped my 2 creamers and  3 sugars off in my cup and i hollered this , naw  that's there problem , now the irony is that as we are having this conversation  the melodic sounds of ms Carly Simon are playing on my computer , the song you ask .. Your so vain . Yes truer words were never spoken and  hit so many nerves you would think you hit a  emotional funny bone , your so vain you probable think this song is about you ... Now don't get me wrong  I would never want you to say but coffee your putting baby boy Jody out there like he's  unjustified, no this is certainly not the case. Lets play court shall we, i open with the case of baby boy Jody vs Facebook statues . The said status was a general opinion of men that in the opinion of nurses aide needed to step of there caliber of stepping to a woman , meaning that you have to  come correct with all items  in tact or at the very least  getting there. At no time did said status  ever indicate any one person to single out in any way , thus the  ugly stepsister syndrome. Whats that ? I m glad you asked we all know and love the story of Cinderella , well she was a smart  lovely girl who probably smelled like pine and had the face of a Disney princess, but that  girl had patience so when  prince charming  came around she sat back and waited for the news to come to her unlike her troll faced ugly stepsisters who feeling some kinda way barged and put there foot in when it had nothing to do with them i.e. baby boy Jody. So this leads me to believe that he was either at home or work and received a notification about a status , i imagine his face aglow with  excitement as he sees it is nurses aide whom he likes writing about men , then something happens his face becomes sour like hes eaten a lemon or he has the gurgles.. but i digress .. he reads the status that is not about him , a status that he has not been tagged in and shouldn't be concerned with , as baby boy Jody is a had working man with not 1 but 2 jobs , co parenting a child , has his own. It is then perplexing that  baby boy Jody would feel the need to  text nurses aide and ask as to what this status is about and that she would need o get it together and proceed to attempt at verbal warfare. baby boy Jody had now entered the Mitch faze , he has become a male bitch , cackling and arguing with a girl with his ugly stepsister mentality . I just had to take a moment while we were all together to explain that men this is not sexy in the least, you have become a male lesbian , so stop being so vain the song really isn't about you. Now hat you can do is saunter to the counter grab me another cup of coffee i take 2 creamers 3 sugars and ill holla