well folks get your  coffee mugs  ready  cuz once again its on  now i  tell you these tales  cuz  well frankly its my  civic duty to inform you of the truly weird ish that goes on  in ones everyday life. i tell you people  i cant make this stuff up its too dam  weird and here in crazy tale , now mothers day was a  couple of  days ago and it reminded me of a story  one of my fellow trainers  informed me of , i call her  dirty Dora .. what the ..  but why ... i know i know  but  let me tell you why  she  gets her name , picture this sweet  , petite, Dora faced  woman .. shes your sister , friend, cousin , she that soccer mom  that's always bringing the  extra oranges and  smiling so sweetly , now picture shes white .. im sorry i  couldn't help myself , i had a time to kill moment ... no so she looks so  pure then .. she opens her mouth and the  most  vile  things come out she  fluent  in  4 languages  but the jest of all i  have learned are dirty limericks  and cuss words . now begins my tale so we were all in class one day , me  , cupid ,  boy band , Filipino idol  the  whole crew when ow and behold the singing had  gone on a commercial  break as we were just sitting there she proceeds to  tell us that the nite before she told her 4 yr. daughter ... ooooh im so hungry i  just wanna  eat your face off .... then  just to make it  fun she  has a evil laugh and i mean this laugh is  kinda  really that  tv  evil guy laugh and then she promptly stops as quickly as she starts, but hers the kicker so she tells her baby that she s so hungry she just wants to eat her face off , her  daughter all of 4  , sighs loudly and reply's  ahhhhhhhhhhhhh here mom and  leans her  face out for her mother .  now i  tell you that just goes to show you that  no one will ever love you like your child that  girl was gonna give her mom her  face to eat . i dont think you grasp how huge that is  i   dont wanna  offer people my last piece of cake and got my mom a card and some flowers  .. GOD help  us all if she needs to eat my face .... .. so to all you kids that  will  let your  mom eat your face , kudos to you my friend .. kudos to you , me well i can get you a cup of coffee with 2 creamers 3 sugars and ill holla and maybe a scone but not my face lol , please no not my face